Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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