you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
