Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
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I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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