i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
