bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The Olympian is in my bed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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