you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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