I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
