are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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