I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
