Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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