haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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