Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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