Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
