We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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