4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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