it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
