We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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