Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Congratulations! We have a period
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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