Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
