He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
if i died would you start the facebook group?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
