Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
