Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
