:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
