He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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