I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize