some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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