he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
