I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
