i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
