we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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