she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
