Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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