I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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