So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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