I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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