Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
