Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
