i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
