Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
