doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
