I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Terrible idea I love it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
