Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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