I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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