Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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