that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
