I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
