It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
