we made out on top of his cat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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