He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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