i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
