Porn is love you can see.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
