My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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