god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
