you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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