so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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