how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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