you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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