I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
