She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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