I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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