If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
