Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
