Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
