You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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