he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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