Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
