But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
